Fever dream high in the quiet of the night you know that I caught it.
Oh, I caught it all right. Taylor Swift released her song “Cruel Summer” as a part of her seventh studio album “Lover” in August of 2019. Four years later, as the song began climbing the charts at a rapid pace, Swift announced the pop anthem as her new single jokingly thanking the people that have been listening to the song “like 500 times a day.” It’s me, hi, I’m the one that has been streaming that song 500 times a day… for the last four years.
Everybody has a favorite everything and my favorite song, of all time, is, with no hesitation, “Cruel Summer.” From that first day in 2019, August 23rd to be exact, I have loved this song. I think, as much as I have listened to and loved other types of music, I have always been a pop song girl, and “Cruel Summer” is the pop song. The bridge alone is enough to make a sane person feral, and you can’t help jumping around and singing your heart out as you blast the tune through your earbuds or the bluetooth speaker, shattering the unforgivingly thin walls of your house. Or at least I can’t. When I say I listen to this song 500 times a day, it is probably not that much of an exaggeration. The relentless way in which I play this song, over and over every day, is not something I feel most people do. Now, with the promotion of the song as a single and Swift’s timely social media posts with “Cruel Summer” related captions, my heart swells with even more love for this song (if that’s even possible). When I make a comment about the song and say “You don’t understand” you truly don’t understand. I’ve snuck through the garden gate every past four summers to seal my fate. I’ve said “I’m fine” when it wasn’t true every waking hour of the last four years. I’ve rolled the dice and rolled my eyes, and I got to stand there in the most jam-packed stadium I have ever been in screaming the words (as requested by Ms. Swift herself) to my song. Because it truly is my song. It’s my song for when I’m happy, when I’m sad. It’s my song for when I walk the dog, when I’m driving in my car. It’s always a cruel summer. Even in the dead of winter. And sometimes, when it’s all said and done, when she moves on to the next song on the setlist, or my playlist continues on with the rest of the queue, there’s a little tear in my eye as a result of the three minutes of pure joy I just experienced. Okay, that’s a lie. I bawled- sorry, cried like a baby- when she finished singing it at my first Eras Tour show in Philadelphia this past May. I think, in every life, I was met to be surrounded by 60,000+ people screaming about being drunk in the back of the car. I knew it was coming. I knew every song on the setlist before I arrived. I knew it was the first full song she played, and yet still, I sobbed and jumped and screamed until my lungs ached and I had to take a breath, my knees weak and pulse racing. It was three minutes of pure bliss, the happiest three minutes I have ever lived. Her “Cruel Summer” single speech was delivered July 17th in Pittsburgh, my hometown show. She said “something magical” had happened and “Cruel Summer” was her favorite off of “Lover.” And I stood there, mascara running down my face, my smile as wide as the Allegheny River, feeling oh so connected to the 73,117 people in Acrisure Stadium, my heart happier than it has ever been. It was like getting a hug from Taylor herself. She was right, for whatever it’s worth, something magical did happen. However, it wasn’t just in the recent months as “Cruel Summer” started gaining more traction and taking over the charts. No, something magical happened four years ago when she released “Cruel Summer” out into the world and into my ears.
For some people, a favorite song comes with lyrics that feel personal, a song that got you through the hard stuff. Swift has an epic catalog of deeper meaning songs for me to choose from, songs I have cried to and healed from, songs I love with all my heart, but at the end of the day when I’m constructing my shower playlists (yes, there’s a new one every day) or studying or sharing my favorite music with my mom or my friends, it’s always “Cruel Summer.” So I’ll continue to sneak through the garden gate, cross the bridge as loud as humanly possible, sealing my fate and basking in the magic of my favorite tune. Forever and always, a cruel summer.
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