Jon Moxley.
Jeeeeooooooooon. Moxley.
Moxley! Moxley! Moxley! 🎶👏
This is not a tribute article. Bam boom. The end.
It you’re a wrestling fan and don’t know what I’m talking about then maybe you should work on being more observant.
Anyways back to the point.
This isn’t a tribute article, and that’s an excellent thing.
The “Moxley” chants on AEW Dynamite weren’t chants of tribute or grief, and that’s a beautiful thing.
In a way yes, the wrestling world has been celebrating the life of Jon Moxley for the past few days. But it’s not his life we’re celebrating. It’s more of the way he’s chosen to live.. that’s where the “celebration” is coming from.
I was on the bus Wednesday morning when I heard the news. The lovely bus driver had the radio blaring wayyyy to loud for 6 A.M, but it was one of those rare moments where I sat without a single thought in my head. And then I heard it.
“Aew star Jon Moxley enters inpatient alcohol treatment.”
As you can imagine that was far from the kind of news I usually hear on the school bus.
I immediately felt the weight of it all, ignoring my brother’s stunned face next to me. And I don’t know why. I don’t know if it was the suddenness of it all, or the fact that it’s Jon FUCKING Moxley we’re talking about, but something about this news hit hard.
No, the thing is I know exactly why.
To derive down a personal road very quickly, I recently started an outpatient treatment for some problems and while I’m working my ass off to make it work, I’ve sat for the past week knowing it’s not having the effect I need it to. And I’ve sat dreaming about being the kind of person that can just be okay, instead of the kind of person that only thrives as an inpatient.
But something about this news made it all click really fast.
And maybe it’s cliche to say. Maybe it’s dumb. Maybe this will be the last straw for the five people that are reading this. But for some crazy reason, hearing that someone I’ve watched for years and years is taking a step to make things better for themselves made realize that screwing around in an outpatient program because I’m terrified of opening up is basically a waste of time and energy and money.
It sounds almost selfish to say but the Jon Moxley news allowed me to come to my own realization that the programs and therapies I’m doing now just aren’t enough. My stint in an inpatient recovery program all those years ago was truly one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to go through, but I’d never been healthier really. So maybe it wasn’t all that bad. And maybe if I need to, I can say I need to go back.. and I can be okay with that.
This Jon Moxley story is going to be one of those moments that helps more people than he’ll ever realize.
That guy that comes out and plays tough guy week in and week out is truly one of the toughest people in the world. It’s not because of his muscles (they’re very big and very intimidating yes), it’s not his history and his career as a professional wrestler, it’s the way he made that decision. I’m not here to speculate or pretend I know him personally and know all he’s been through. That’s his business, and as a fan I truly shouldn’t care. But from a very, very personal place deep within me I know that the toughest people are the ones who can get that help for themselves. No matter the circumstances.
I met Mox in Cincinnati two months ago. I was shaking walking up to him and the opening conversation pointed towards my struggles with anxiety. As I began walking away he told me my life’s purpose wasn’t to struggle, and he hopes I find some peace soon.
So to the toughest guy I’ll never know, but instead to the toughest guy I’ve had the absolute privilege of watching for the past seven or eight (I can’t count) years…
“ I hope you find your peace soon.”
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